And a Hell of a Halloween!
by Punishment Prez
Summary: The SUper AwesUm Sequel to: One Hell of a Halloween! Battler wakes up and loses all memory of his night with Ronove and everyone else has their own set of problems from Oishi in an Angel Mort Dress to poor Ange who must suffer and read this tale with you!
1. Un: Hello to Your COCK!

And a Hell of a Halloween!

_For the one million imaginary people, and to a few real people: here's to you, a happy Halloween gift!_

**Un:** _Hello to Your COCK!_

_`~. oh hai .~`_

Ya know, I really don't usually question what happens in my dreams; but this was getting _ridiculous…_

"_Battler onii-chan~! Don't do it! You'll be suspended by Coach Krauss!"_ The girl who was pulling on my arm looked like an older version of Ange, and she was obviously upset with my behavior.

"_Sounds like a vacation to me!"_ I spat all macho-like. I'm a total badass in my dreams!

"_**OH JYEAH**__!"_

Kool-Aid man appeared out of nowhere, and I don't know how (physically) or why, but he was wearing the same school uniform as me (I can't even tell you how he fit through the classroom door).

Outside the window of what appeared to be the most-ghetto high school in existence, there was a storm beginning to form up. 'Coach Krauss' wasn't in the damn classroom, so I figured class ended at 2:30 (_the clock was at 2:25_).

I practically stripped out of my red-blue plaid and white uniform shirt, balled it into my bag, and hit it through the door.

Senile old Principal Kinzo (how did I know he was the principal?) and what I assumed was me and Ange-girl's friends were talking out in the hallway. _"You should have as many people fight you as possible!"_ _"Mammon! Don't talk him up,"_ Ange yelled at the girl closest to her. Jeez, these girls look like the Stakes of Purgatory.

"_I agree with Battler! Kick his __**ASS,**__"_ Satan yelled with a smile on her face.

"_Fighting is way too much work, let's go sleep in Mr. Rudolph's music class," _the slothful sister Belphegor suggested. _"Yeah, you'll get your clothes all dirty; it's rainy and muddy out there,"_ Lucifer told me; always the proud fashionista police. _"Let's not got to Rudolph's class, Natsuhi has cookies in Home Economics!"_ Their gluttonous blonde sister suggested.

"_**LOVE AND PEACE!**__"_ Asmodeous claimed while Principal Kinzo hollered: "_**I HEART AMERIKA!**_"

Whoever I was about to fight was in a world of trouble!

Then the Seacats' Hi-Skool dismissal bell rung and me plus an excited posse rushed out to a deserted area near an abandoned…chapel? It sure did look familiar. Everyone wandered inside the building behind Principal Kinzo who for some reason was singing: _'yami wo kirisaku oh desire~'_ and _'sacrificing to go!'_

Not long after (it was _**raining men**_ by this time) my opponent appeared.

"_Ya sure you wanna go through with this!"_ I asked him in a dangerous tone, though he did look like a silent killer and it scared me a little. _"Pu ku ku, I've been waiting all day for this. I just love these types of situations, don't you?"_ The slightly older guy was teasing me, which got me hot easily. I _mean_, angry…

"_Aargh! Take this~~! Justice Kiiiiickk!"_ I charged at him, ridiculously emitting sparks of magical energy, and he easily side stepped my out incoming attack… and I felt my self being grabbed by my outstretched leg. The weird guy slammed me in the mud, and politely stepped back and waited for me to recover.

"_Tired yet?"_ He asked me. I was slightly dizzy from that spinning move, but I hopped to my feet anyways.

"_Never! __**RADIANT TRUTH OF SPAGHETTI!**__"_ I think that was a name of a secret attack, because then a golden ray of light blasted out of my hands. In the air above us stood Weetrice; (again, don't ask me how I knew what that thing was) it's that sixth sense you have during dreams. Needless to say, this attack knocked him to the dirt; but I won't give him the chance to recover! I dashed forward immediately, the only sound was of raindrops singing a beautiful requiem…!

And then I slipped in the mud… sorta… It was cool because it was me: The Goddamn Battler.

By now, that guy came over to where I busted my ass, kneeling to see if I was alright. _"Battler-kun, why do you dislike me so much? And how come you didn't use your Oppai Finger attack thingy as well?"_

"_I don't hate you… And plus when the author began to type this, Ougon Musou Kyou didn't come out yet…"_ I felt bad for some reason, for he genuinely seemed heartbroken. He leaned closer, over me so that the rain was blocked from my face.

Whoa… he was kinda smexy under inspection. _"Are you okay?"_ He asked to be sure. _"Yeah, I just gotta hear Lucifer tell me 'I told ya so' later about my clothes. But that's nothing."_ I smiled to let him know I was joking, and so did he. I made a movement to sit up, but a gloved hand gently pushed me back to the earth.

"_Huh? I…um,"_ I couldn't really reply as he slowly pulled my undershirt upwards, slightly exposing the area up to my chest. I moaned when he lightly ran his index finger down my abdomen, then on my belt buckle which he fondled and teased.

He hovered over me completely, his blue eyes easily seducing me and _'I'_ ran both hands across his firm chest, pulling him closer by the collar.

*******Of course ha ha, 'I' didn't do, ihihihi: the Battler in my dream was doing all of **_**this…yeah…*******_

"_Battler, I want to…"_

"_Yes?"_ 'I' urged him to continue.

"_I want to _**COCK-A-DOODLE-DOO**_ you…"_ I stared and gave him a 'wtf' type of look.

"_Then I want you to _**COCK-A-DOODLE-DOO**_ me too, Battler,"_ he reached for 'my' 'gun' and squeezed it firmly.

"_With your big _**COCK-A-DOODLE**_—"_

"_**Ahhh**__!"_

Battler awoke angrily from his (dream?) turned retarded nightmare. For a moment, he forgot where he was.

"Where… am I?" Correction: he still forgot where he was. The 'cock-a-doodle-doo' sound must have been from the alarm clock beside him which he began to seek to silence (slap) out of habit. Which he eventually did. Eventually.

Battler's aim was paefeckto! His right arm randomly knocked down what seemed to be an alarm clock (which made a nice sound once broken) and that was the end of the 'cock—

"**COCK-A-DOODLE-DOO!"** Battler couldn't even get angry at the loud interruption; it was just too… loud …_AND_ wrong. He decided to find out about the noise later. He stretched and slipped out of bed, only vaguely remembering that **– "COCK-A-DOODLE-DOO!"- **today was Halloween.

"Hmm? Ronove's jacket…" While feeling his way around in the darkness, he found the older man's favorite jacket, which was slightly torn. "What the hell… How was someone able to come close enough in a fight to touch Ronove?" He stared at the jacket for a moment longer, succumbed to the desire to sniff it, and finally realized that in fact, this was Ronove's room.

"Well, guess I'll take a shower then," the teen decided. Ronove probably wouldn't mind if he used his bathroom. Or his special lotions. Or his laptop…

"Still, that dream…" It felt as though it had some meaning. That and the massive bulge in his— "Oooh, a giant blue marker!" Battler found a mysterious jumbo Crayola marker from his pocket as he went to the bathroom. Then, he voiced a very important question (plot-wise):

"_**WHAT THE HELL DID I DO LAST NIGHT?"**_

The question went unanswered for a few seconds.

And then those seconds turned to minutes.

Finally, Battler stepped over Kool-Aid man who was passed out on the bathroom floor.

_`~.oh bai.~`_


	2. Deux: No Homo!

**Deux:** _No Homo!_

_!dun de dun de dun!_

Ronove could be seen sitting inside of a cat-box (complete with little brown, black and white kitties) with a depressed air when Gaap and Beatrice came in to the kitchen.

"Hey Ron—"

"THE HELL U **WANT?"** He cut Gaap off before she could finish. "Uhm…" Beatrice just scratched her head. "We're… sorry? Ain't that right Gaap?" She elbowed the other blonde as a hint to play along.

"Yep! I'm sorry as hell! We only thought you didn't look moe enough, since you didn't get _'any'_ last night!" Beatrice automatically face-palmed herself after that last sentence. But the man in the box was beyond being pissed; he couldn't even talk. He was hurt to his soul (though to be fair, he never had a soul to begin with).

"We came back out because we heard a weird noise outside; it's freakin' annoyin'!" Beatrice headed for the door and so did Ronove. _/Now that she mentions it, what the hell is that…?/ _Ronove thought, yet knew it was going to be something irritating.

When they rushed out the door what the saw _was…_

"COCK-A-DOODLE-_DOO_~!" Dlanor A Knox was standing outside… up in a chicken suit... bein' a chicken. "What the hell're you doin' dude?" Gaap asked; slightly enraged for her lusty sex with Beato was interrupted for a chicken.

"I was ordered here to TRICK-OR-TREAT." She held out a random fishing net, obviously asking for something. "I believe I am supposed to receive SOMETHING for my SERVICES."

With a poof of smoke (like in a bad Bewitched episode) Virgilia appeared.

"Sweetheart, who sent you trick-or-treating at 9:00 a.m.?" The doll-like girl looked around, confused. "Well, my Master is gone, but she said it is more effective to get to business earlier before the other KIDS."

"Your master's retarded," Beatrice reasoned.

"Everyone knows you're supposed to do it at nighttime!" The other three magical beings nodded in agreement with Beato. "Well, I have a breakfast going, how about you come in for now?" Ronove offered to Dlanor. No one could tell, but she gave a very friendly smile that only Virgilia has ever seen.

"THANK YOU!" She told them mechanically and the five of them entered the mansion's door.

"Dammit! It didn't work!"

The amazing, big-breasted, Inspector Erika popped her head out of a bush a few yards away from the scene in front of the mansion. She had a diabolical plan to steal all of the candy from Rokkenjima to ruin Halloween!

"Mwahahahaha! Damn right!" Erika laughed after narrating herself. But Dlanor will be her inside weapon, to destroy Battler and those idiots! "WAHAHAHA_**HA**_—_owwww…" _Suddenly a very expensive strawberry-melon body wash flew out of a high window and (with surprising accuracy) hit Erika on the head.

"Shut the _**f*ck**_ up Inspector Gadget!"

Battler yelled and continued his shower after shutting the window. Slightly dazed, Erika (and she really did look like Inspector Gadget) walked away in her trench coat, in search of a Nanjo=Gaap and Hideyoshi=EVA-Beatrice cosplay.

Battler stared into the steamy bathroom mirror, 'cause he was highly upset… "Where the hell is some stylin' gel?" He wondered out loud. Battler really likes to keep his hair in the duck-ass style before being seen in the morning just like his famous idol. He sighed and walked out the bathroom, being sure not to trip over Kool-Aid man.

"Well, time to see what the loony bin's up to," Battler referred to Beatrice and the rest after changing into his usual attire, minus that white jacket. The scent of warm cinnamon from the kitchen beyond the door finally reached to him, and Battler felt an unexplained feeling in his heart (among other places) that forced him to bomb rush through the bedroom door.

"Ronove-sama! What is that wonderful… oh…!"

There was Beatrice at the kitchen table playing a board game. Gaap was beside her (angst-y due to lack of sex) along with Virgilia who almost managed to look normal if she wasn't talking to a giant chicken while drinking tea.

And then Ronove was there, staring at him expectantly.

"_**WTF?"**_ Battler did an objection point in the hellish butler's direction. "I apologized," Gaap and Beatrice said simultaneously. "Watch ur cmputer lang. in hear Bato," Beatrice chastised the teen.

"Ronove… _what the hell happened to your mustache?"_

"…."

The demon left the oven and sulked to his cat-box "Well you see what happened was…"

"We shaved it off." Beatrice finished for Gaap.

Beatrice looked up from her game of Clue. "It was all Gaap's '_idear_' though." "I _**f*ckin'**_ apologized alright!" Gaap yelled and threw a pumpkin-shaped marshmallow at Beato's head _{No Effecto!}._

"They though it would make him look more…MOE," Dlanor commented (she was unsure of what that meant). "Who the hell is Moe?" Battler looked at Virgilia for an answer but she shrugged. Yep, when Virgilia shrugs, there is no answer (worth looking for).

"We thought since you fell asleep during _*[cat meow]*_ with Ronove it was the mustache's fault." Beatrice returned to her game of Clue _(*Seacats' Edition!*)_ where **Krauss** was killed in the **'GOLDEN LAND' **with a **thong **by **MARI(S)A.**

"Ihihi, guess I need hearing aides. Now, _what _was I doing last night?" Battler asked once more.

"You were _[*mewww*]_ Ronove." Gaap told him, a bit confused with his behavior.

"You guys were sooo _cuu~te_ together last night! Remember that time you guys were in court? Your case won and you two were given the permission to go out with each other!" 

Battler was shaking his head furiously during the entire explanation. _**"I ain't gay uooahhargh!"**_ He ran out of the kitchen in terror.

He came back in to steal a cinnamon bun, and hurriedly ran out through the front door.

"The amount of exclamation marks he uses is ridiculous," Beatrice sighed.

"Forget that, did anyone see his hair? It's like, shoulder length~! Heheheh, he looks like Ange lololol!" (Gaap was taking her Rapist Break).

"Battler-kun… _isn't gay_?" Ronove whispered to himself.

"Meow!" One of his kittens went.


	3. Trois: A Wild Ushiromiya Appears!

**Trois:** _A Wild Ushiromiya Appears!_

Battler began to run. And then he ran a little bit more. "Wait a moment!" He stopped to eat his cinnamon bun, AND _then_ he started to run again. "I'm tired of running, narrator," the Bitch complained.

After ten minutes he realized he had actually passed by Rudolf, and walked back to talk to him out of curiosity (and mainly boredom). "Hey Dad," Battler called out to his father. "Hey Son! How ya doin'? It's _Halloween~_!" Rudolf was obviously happy to be cosplaying as Jack Bauer… who was cosplaying as Obama… who was cosplaying as some other guy.

"I was gonna ask you what the hell are you wearin', but I want to know what are you doing over by this secret mansion even more," Battler said. Rudolf scratched his chin. "Oh yeah," he finally clapped his hands. "I'm a plot device right now!"

"Oka-yyy… And what does that mean?"

"The password…?" Rudolf said as though he was unsure.

"What password Dad?"

"That!" Rudolf yelled happily. Battler really didn't have the patience for this today. "That? What _'that'_ is you talking about?"

"That is incorrect Engrish son, the correct way is: _'What 'that' are you talking about!'_" Battler huffed. "Okay Dad. What 'that' are you talking about?"

"No, it's _'what'_!"

"'_What'?_ I think I just lost a few intelligence points talking to you, ya old bastard!" Battler turned to walk away, when his father pulled him into a hug. "Love you son. You'll understand when the time is right," Rudolf snuggled his son a little longer, which probably wouldn't have been as awkward if not for his Speedos and equally colorful Skittles rollerblades.

"Okay, bye Dad."

"Oh, and Bato," Rudolf had just one last message. "It's okay…" Suddenly, a rainbow appeared in the space between them!

"_**To be gayyy~!"**_

Rudolf pirouetted and skipped onto the rainbow, and skated off to the other side of the island. We later learn that Rudolf received a 9.75/10 from our judges. (It would have been a perfect 10 if not for his lack of a matching Skittles bow tie).

Battler watched Rudolf until the rainbow disappeared.

"I'm bored. And plus I should apologize to Ronove… Maybe that's what Dad wanted me to realize." Now Battler felt a bit bad about running out of the mansion on Ronove. Before, he just felt an odd sensation well up inside of him… as though what Gaap had said really happened…

"No way! I couldn't have done something so…"

"_Naughty?_"

A chibi Kinzo provided a word for his grandson to use. "Hey_~'y so small'_ Gramps?" He picked up Kinzo and continued off to Kuwadorian. "I ate a snack at the wrong time…" Kinzo confessed.

"And that turned you chibi?"

"No, Ronoue found out. _*Sigh*_." Battler petted him on the head as consolation. "What can we do to get you back to normal?" "Well, Ronove has the same powers… But he's angry at me too," Kinzo started to howl '**W**hat **W**ould **B**eatoriiiche **D**o?' until he came up with a magnificent plan.

"Didn't you two start to go out? I heard from that witch Lambdadelta when we went to steal out of Genji's room last night," Battler froze up in horror. "Gramps, ihihihi. I don't know what the hell you're—"

"Maybe it's because I broke his laptop—again? Genji is hard to figure out. What were you saying Battler?" He'd already forgotten about Battler who had a crazed look on his face. "Uhhm nothing, nothing at all. So what's your plan with Ronove?" _/I'm so cool, I can switch subjects easily! Hahahah!/_

"Can you _'convince'_ him to turn me back to normal?"

"How can I—what the hell? Are you telling me to pimp myself to a demon for a Magick Spell?" Battler was astonished and frustrated.

"Well," Kinzo started. "Yeah, pretty much."

"You black magician bastard!" Battler hollered.

"Thanks Grandson!" Kinzo said happily.

Battler and Kinzo neared the front door of the mansion where they were greeted by Virgilia and Dlanor. What the hell is wrong with Knox? She doesn't have any candy~!

Sexy-As-Fuck Erika huffed and puffed: her subordinate was useless. So for the moment, she stopped the narration of her life, and began to think up a brilliant plan.

"Never let a chicken do an inspector's job," Erika decided. Screw Dlanor, she planned to bomb-rush inside with the aid of her Go-Go Gadget powers; those witches will be powerless. MWAHAHAHAHAHA-uh oh!

Erika ducked deeper into the bush; Battler had almost spotted her.

"You're both telling me that you didn't just hear some creepy narration _**AND**_ you didn't hear the Inspector Gadget Theme Song? What the _hell_…?" Battler was certain that Virgilia and Kinzo needed Medicaid for hearing aides and maybe some sedatives.

"Anyhoo, can you help me Virgilia?" Kinzo begged in Battler's palm.

"Even I haven't studied this type of curse," Virgilia shook her head hopelessly. She looked Battler into his eyes, and amazingly opened hers. Kinzo cowered in his cape—she was scary!

"Battler-kun,"

"Y-Yeah? What is it?" He'd only seen her eyes one other time before.

"Come with me." Was all she said, and she began to walk inside emotionlessly.

"Here's my chance~! Remember me Master; remember me as the greatest inspector in history!" Erika ran at full speed towards the mansion's door before it could shut…

_***thud***_

Battler swiveled around at the sudden noise. "Did anyone just hear that?" He yelled to no one in particular. "There was something at the door!"

"Are you smoking on crack?" Gaap yelled from one of the rooms.

""Yeaaaa!" Beatrice blurted out randomly; most likely from her game of Clue.

"We have a more important issue to deal with right now Battler," Virgilia said impatiently. "W-What is it about?" Now Battler was close to terrified. What was so serious that she needed _his_ help?

The last words Battler heard was from his beloved cousin Lion.

"Will, _**NOOO~**_! Wait a minu—"

And then Battler's world turned orange, then purple, then green (back to orange) and then black with a hint of pink.


	4. Quatre: Best Left Undead

**Quatre:** _Best Left Undead_

_What the heck did you do that for Will? _That was Lion.

_Seriously, even I would've asked before punching him that hard. _Gaap's so nice sometimes.

… There was some silence.

_Oh, there's Kinzo! _Apparently, Beatrice found chibi Gramps…

_Beeaatorriiche~!_

_Why are you yellin' Kinzo? (I'm right here…)_

_Good point…. Sorry…_

Battler was still in-and-out of consciousness; which was natural since Willard H. Wright gave him a finishing blow that could make Muhammad Ali and Mike Tyson cry together.

"Hey Bato, wake the hell up; you're making Lion cry," Gaap was kicking Battler in his ribs, which (surprisingly), made him awaken fully. "Battler! Are you okay," Lion (being the best cousin evar) rushed to the red-head's side.

"Ihihi, it's just my pride that's broken; and a few bones. But mostly bones," Battler reassured him by petting his cousin's blonde hair.

"That's for makin' some other random jerk pose as me yesterday, you _**Betch**_!" Will spat at Battler roughly.

Beatrice cocked her head to the side. "Do you mean, you're _**THE**_ 'Wizard-hunting Wright'? Then who was that other guy, Battler? I just assumed his name was right because he said it was Wright," Beatrice and everyone besides Will were beginning to become confused.

"So that Wright was wrong?" Gaap asked to Will.

"No, he was right, his name was Wright; just not the _right_ Wright," Will stated matter-of-factly.

"So you're Wright, the right Wright: Willard Wright?" Lion wondered out loud.

"I got sucker-punched over wordplay?" Battler asked God. He received the Shrug of God.

"Yeah, that's basically it. But there is another problem going on," He gave an Objection point at Battler.

"Diana…_**is missing**_!" _*Melodramatic Dramatic B# Note*_

"She had wonderful breasts, so I raped her and threw her in the ocean," Battler told Will apologetically. _**"THAT'S TERRIBLE!"**_ Dlanor screamed within her chicken suit. "Honestly, how am _**I**_ related to this Diana person?" Battler hollered.

"You just said you **RAPED HER**! How can you ask Mr. Will such a _**QUESTION?**_" Dlanor burst out of her Halloween suit with a blue and red sword in both of her hands.

"It's called sarcasm." Battler told Dlanor flatly. There was then an awkward pause.

"What is SARCASM?"

"Anyhoo, when Ron get's depressed, he surrounds himself with cats. Right Lia?" Gaap continued after Dlanor's question went unanswered.

"Uhh, yeah… and then he holed up in his room not long ago. He had another, new kitty with him…" Virgilia seemed to know what Gaap was trying to do, so she played along. "You people don't understand what I'm _asking_," Battler said with a face as though he was going to burst into tears.

"Wait, what da hell you mean by: _**'you people'**_?" Gaap spoke in her _angry-ghetto-and-too-black-to-get-a-decent-job-and-is-on-welfare-but-writes-fan-fiction-anyways_ tone. "Don't worry Gaap, he's just depressed right now, I suspect by 24:00, he'll suddenly recede to the third stage of depression and (hold on)—"Beatrice put on her reading glasses as she continued to read a manual.

"As _**He**_** (meaning our ****Battler Unit****) regresses to L3 Syndrome, he will succumb to the need to explode the entire island, and afterwards, watch a whole bunch of zombie…porn?**" Beatrice set her Bato-Manual down for a second. Then she put her face in her hands.

"Yep. Kinda fucked up," Everyone gasped as Virgilia issued a curse word. "What? It really is!"

Virgilia snatched the Bato-Manual and began reading silently.

"It seems as though you are the only one who can cheer Ronove-sama up, Battler," Lion said quietly. "I know; and I'm telling you that that can't be right! Gramps and Dad and everyone else in here are _**rong**_!"

"Battler…" Lion said softly. "Huh? Did you figure out a way to help me Lion?"

"No, but you spelled _'wrong'_ incorrectly."

The young red-head softly began to weep. _"*Sigh*,"_ Will went. But he crouched beside the teen and put an understanding hand on his shoulder. "There, there pal. I know how to fix this problem for ya," Battler looked into the man's golden eyes in amazement.

"R-Really? That's incredible, what do I have to do?"

Will gave him a small smirk. "You: nothing as of yet. Just let me handle all of the talking," he suddenly jumped onto his feet Chuck Norris style, and began to drag Bato along by his shoulder length hair. Of course, Battler was on L2 of the Undead Syndrome, so he couldn't feel a bit of pain any longer.

"C'mon Lion. We've got kittehs to save!" Will called to his partner energetically.

"You mean you know what the fuck to do?" Beatrice asked incredulously? "Yep," he answered casually. "Back in college, I always ended up on all fours, like a cat."

Everyone, including Lion gave him a silent, skeptical look. "No—like a cat! Not like that!"

"Sure thing…homo-thug…" Gaap said.

Lion trailed after the two as they headed through the kitchen's doors…

"GO GO GADGET-…. Hmmmm, what can make me scale up to the open window of this mansion?" Smart-Ass-Fuck Erika perused her gray cells for something the real Inspector Gadget would use. But she couldn't think of anything to fit her character; she just hated OOC-ness.

"GO GO GADGET~ Rocket BOOTZ!"

Suddenly, an incredible display of fireworks erupted from the cyan villain's boots, and she flew past the mansion's top most tiles…

And she rocketed on for approximately another 0.32 seconds, until she made contact with Rudolf's Rainbow; which then shattered into a million beautiful pieces across the island.

The next 0.68 seconds were really fun!

Erika crashed landed back into the mansion's outer bushes, her boots still flaming like last year's barbeque cooked by Krauss…

**ELSEWHERE…** _(Over the rainbow)_

"Oh my God! That rainbow just _exploded_!"

Detective Kuraudo Oishi hollered from on top of the Ushiromiya mansion.

"….. _Hm?—_"

Then he looked around himself, ignoring the fact he was in an Angel Mort servant costume.

"Who the hell is that on the roof!" Eva asked at her position from the rose garden with her siblings. "But he's right; that rainbow disappeared out of nowhere," Rosa urged. "It was pretty, but what a mystery! I say we investigate!"

Kanon, who was inside the mansion at the time, came walking casually through the front doors with a platter of cookies for the adults. "Gah—ahhh~!" Oishi made a misstep on his way down the roof (you know, because of the heels) and fell down the so-many-stories-high home.

Luckily, he used Kanon to break his fall, so he didn't dirty his outfit. That would have been horrible!

"**OH MY GOD!** You so totally killed Kanon," Rosa called to the detective, though not very alarmed.

"You **BASTARD!**" Shannon accused with an expert Objection pose.

"I-I'm sorry! Hey kid, are you okay?" Oishi shook Kanon's little body, which gently began to evaporate into the air via golden butterflies, which crumbled away into equally beautiful, golden leaflets. _**"NOOOOOOOOO!"**_ The policeman hollered into the sky while shaking his fists.

"Oh don't worry sir, he'll come back; just don't tell George-kun!" Genji said, and then returned his attention to the matter at hand: The Shattered Rainbow Mission.

"I, Ushiromiya Natsuhi will lead in this expedition. **WE GONNA BE CALLED THE 'KINZO 4 EVAR TEAM'!"** The woman had a rifle so none rejected the team name.

"Shhh be quiet honey; I'm reading," Krauss said from under the arbor with Dlanor's reading glasses. "It's upside down dear… Why _**are **_you reading that Dr. Seuss book upside down?" Natsuhi asked her husband. "Uhm… well you see; it's all the rage for presidents in America to—uhh…"

/_Oh shi—she's really gonna make me go with them? Well fuck me backwards!/_

"Sure!" Rudolf said happily, he was looking directly into Krauss' face, who gave him a scared look back. _/Did he just read my…mind?/_

"Let's do it then, okay Aniki? Ihihi!"

"_**I DON'T WANT YOU TO F^CK ME BACKWARDS!"**_

The rose garden gave a moment of silence. "Did he want Rudolf-kun to fuck him forwards," Hideyoshi whispered to Rosa. She gave a shrug. "Maybe upside-down; this _**is**_ Krauss we're discussing here."

"What are you talking about? We were discussing the rainbow quest…" Even Nanjo in his Gaap outfit gave Krauss a strange look. The eldest sibling stood there in shock, realizing how perverted he looked.

"You see, what had happened _was—_"

"Don't give that _'oh-I'm-black-so-this-is-what-had-happened-excuse'_," Kyrie admonished Krauss. "Let's just get ready to go!"

"I second that emotion! Let's meet back here in thirty minutes, packed and ready to go," Eva took over as the second oldest and instructed everyone else there.

"Hello, I'm Detective Oishi, although I'm an uninvited guest, please welcome me!"

The mysterious man from the mansion roof greeted the servants and family members present.

"Please, please, please _**CAN I COME TOO?**_ I've never went treasure hunting before!" He pleaded to them all.

"Why the hell not? You are welcomed here," Eva told him. "Yippeee~!" The old cop cheered.

Everyone began to totter to the mansion to prepare for the big adventure. Except for Krauss (and technically Kanon, but let's not get technical). He stayed at his spot under the arbor, remembering the last time he went on an adventure on the island: his father rammed a boat with himself, Genji, Kanon, and Gohda (whom of which was wearing Daisy Dukes that day) into his secret mansion Kuwadorian. Worst of all, he wasn't allowed to eat dessert as punishment that night.

Rudolf was standing there the entire time circling his brother in his Skittles skates.

"Are you worried about _something_, Krauss? Stress isn't good for you!"

"Ohmigawd! You're here still? Leave with your wife dammit!" Rudolf didn't. Instead, he pointed towards Kyrie and Natsuhi flirting like teenagers.

"That's so _**awkward…**_ Well, I just don't want my dessert privileges revoked again," Krauss confessed. Rudolf sat down in the chair adjacent to him, and nodded understandingly. "Remember when mom used to do that, heh, I've gotten through a loophole…"

"Really? What would we do if that happens?" Krauss asked desperately, pulling his (brother) closer. "I need my _fuckin'_ desserts **MAN!**"He shook Rudolf with desperation. "Alright, alright, listen up then," Rudolf was elated to have some control over his older brother.

"Plan A is: I'll share my snacks," Rudolf leaned into his brother, his voice barely above a whisper.

"_I'll give you my cookies, to no one but you, Aniki…"_

**And thus, every adult at the Ushiromiya mansion was set for the voyage!**

**Except for the children…where the hell are they…?**

_What will happen to the eldest Ushiromiya siblings?_ **Krauss:** Oh dear GOD spare my life!

_And what of their children?_ **Jessica:** Finally! I got a line in the story!

_Will the servants survive this time?_ **Kanon:** The hell you lookin' at me with that camera for?

_How the hell did Oishi get on the roof of the mansion?_ **Oishi:** It was a long night a'right?

And now for a few pick up lines from the _**Ushiromiya Family & Friends**_! Funding provided by the Japanese Social Security Insurance.

**Kinzo**: "Well, now, what's your name, young miss? Have I seen you around before, you look like a—_**BEATORRICHHEEE!"**_

**Nanjo**: **"O-ONCE A MONTH, YOU WILL BLEED FROM YOUR VAGINA!"**

**Genji**: _"….(swag)"_

**Krauss:** "Not to brag, but, ahaha, I've been referred to as having the most pleasurable and experienced head in the history of the Ushiromiya—yeah for business, the commerce men of the world just can't seem to resist me! They keep telling me: _'Keep your eyes shut and your mouth open; they'll just keep coming for ya!' _Did I just…say that wrong?"

**AND THAT WILL BE ALL FOR TODAY!**

**Gohda:** But I haven't had my turn ye—

**THANK YOU FOR TUNING IN!**


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